Sharp Scratches, 2023

Sharp Scratches was created during my second year at university. Through exploring and reflecting on personal experiences, this project allowed me to heal. Alongside the self portraits bellow, there is a short film accompanied by words written over the last few years. Project Statement Cancer is the most common cause of non-accidental death amongst teenagers and young adults worldwide and every year approximately 2000 teenagers are diagnosed with cancer in the UK alone [1]. This project will take you on a journey. My journey through teenage cancer. At the age of 17 I was diagnosed with a form of primary bone cancer called a Chondrosarcoma in my left Femur. Malignant bone tumours comprise 7–8% of cancers in adolescents aged between 15–19 [2]. It took over 2 years of knee pain before I received this diagnosis. The estimated time before diagnosis of these tumours is around 1 – 2 years [3]. Many factors contribute to these delays. Some people may put of seeing their GP assuming their symptoms are caused by stress or growing pains. In addition to that, primary bone cancers are very rare and many GPs will never come across a case. Often patients have to return to their GP three or four times before they are referred for more tests [4]. An x-ray I had in 2019 revealed a bone abnormality however, nothing was done and I was not made aware of this. I decided to put the pain down to growing pains and my hyper mobile joints. I was eventually referred to a specialist after going for a second x-ray in 2021. We did not know the tumour was malignant until after it was removed. This type of cancer does not respond to chemo or radio therapy. I had to undergo major surgery to completely remove the bottom of my femur, replace my knee joint and remove flesh that was exposed to the tumour when it was previously removed. This surgery was painful and drastically life altering. My leg was kept straight for 8 weeks to allow the muscles that had been moved to heal in place. My recovery was a lengthy and frustrating process. It was made worse by the fact the rod in my femur became completely loose. Despite complaining of sever pain several times, the physiotherapist did not recognise this. I then had to have another surgery to replace the top of the implant. In total I had 3 invasive surgeries to remove the tumour and fix my knee joint. I went from being a confident 16 year old studying her A-levels in a world coming out the other side of the Covid 19 pandemic. To a teenager fighting cancer. A teenager who was once again isolated from her friends but this time not by a national lockdown but by a disease that puts distance between young people and their peers. Many Teenage cancer patients describe fighting cancer as an isolating experience. A diagnosis of cancer can be disruptive at any stage of life, but individuals in teenage and young adult years have been described as being on the ‘threshold of fundamental change in their circumstances’[5]. Navigating relationships, education and body image are some of the key issues my age group face during their cancer experience’s. I was offered the chance to take a year away from my A-levels but I knew this would only add to my frustration of feeling separate from my peers. I think in a way I would have felt like I was giving in to the cancer if I did this. Instead, I kept on with my education and decided to apply to university. My last operation was in March 2022 and by September I was 176 miles from home at university. By the end of my first year my mental health had depleted. I was now struggling with severe anxiety. I did not trust my body. I felt unsafe on trains and in shops. I was always searching for my way out. After eventually receiving guidance from a mental health nurse during the summer, I realised that this anxiety stemmed from my experience with cancer. I would describe it as being in survival mode since the diagnosis and starting to come out of it. I am still in pain. I can not run. My knee will never bend past 90 degrees. The experience will never be over. It is now about beginning to accept my new body and learning how to cope with my anxiety. I have found walking and time in nature beneficial in reducing anxiety. This project allowed me to gain some closure and perspective. Overall, childhood, adolescent, and young adult cancer survivors are 57% more likely to develop depression, 29% more likely to develop anxiety, and 56% more likely to develop psychotic disorders in the years following treatment. Adolescent patients diagnosed with cancer between the ages of 12 to 18 face the highest risk of suffering from severe depression as adults. To ad to that, patients may not disclose psychiatric symptoms because of the stigma surrounding mental health conditions [6]. References 1.Pini, S, Hugh-Jones, S orcid.org/0000-0002-5307-1203 and Gardner, PH (2012) What effect does a cancer diagnosis have on the educational engagement and school life of teenagers? A systematic review. PsychoOncology, 21 (7). pp. 685-694. ISSN 1057-9249 2.REVIEW Epidemiology of Bone Tumours in Children and Young Adults. Rachel Eyre, BSc, Mres, Richard G. Feltbower, BSc, MSc, PhD, Emmanuel Mubwandarikwa, BSc, MSc, PhD, Tim O.B. Eden, MBBS D(Obst), RCOG, MRCP, FRCP, FRCPath, FRCPCH, and Richard J.Q. McNally, BSc, MSc, DIC, PhD1* 3.https://www.bcrt.org.uk/information/information-by-type/chondrosarcoma/ BONE CANCER TRUST 4.https://www.bcrt.org.uk/information/information-by-type/chondrosarcoma/ BONE CANCER TRUST 5.Pini, S, Hugh-Jones, S orcid.org/0000-0002-5307-1203 and Gardner, PH (2012) What effect does a cancer diagnosis have on the educational engagement and school life of teenagers? A systematic review. PsychoOncology, 21 (7). pp. 685-694. ISSN 1057-9249 6.https://www.bcrt.org.uk/information/information-by-type/chondrosarcoma/ BONE CANCER TRUST